What is the mental load? Managing life’s invisible chaos
A visual representation of the chaos a mental load can bring.
What is the mental load?
Dealing with the mental load is like being the master conductor of a chaotic household symphony. It’s all the work you do to keep things in order: running your household, supporting your family, managing your home, organizing your life. You're not just juggling schedules and deadlines; you're also planning groceries, reminding everyone of their responsibilities, anticipating tasks, handling finances, coordinating activities, and navigating a maze of conflicting priorities—all while trying to keep your sanity intact. Woah, that’s a lot of verbs!
And the craziest part? It’s all in your head! Even when your to-dos are strewn across post-its, calendars, and notes apps, most of the work is mental gymnastics. That’s exhausting! And it’s not just exhausting mentally, the mental load also drains you physically, emotionally, and energetically.
Why should you care?
Well, consider this: “The vast majority of women say they are responsible for what happens in the home. I’m talking about the planning, the organizing, the coordinating, even just the remembering. Of things like appointments, repairs, birthday parties, grocery lists - so many lists. And if you think that’s trivial, then you’re probably not the one taking care of it! Because this group also reported increased levels of depression and anxiety, and decreased levels of life and relationship satisfaction. And here’s the kicker: we would never be expected to handle this at work.” - Adrienne Jung, CEO at eeva in a recent talk
Here at eeva, we’re passionate about taking the technology and innovation of the tools you’re used to at work, and creating an all-in-one solution for home and life management to ease your mental load. Sign up for our waitlist to stay updated.
The Facts Don’t Lie
A study of 4,500 women conducted by The Harris Poll on behalf of theSkimm found:
74% of women surveyed agreed “I am always adjusting my life to accommodate others (e.g., family, co-workers, friends, etc.)”
79% were concerned with the social expectations around unpaid labor/mental load that women are responsible for
76% believe women are largely responsible for unpaid labor and mental load at home (e.g., women doing more household labor, taking on scheduling, etc.)
The Heavy Toll of the Mental Load
Carrying the mental load is like running a never-ending marathon. Here’s why the mental load is actually a big deal:
Stress and Anxiety
Constantly juggling a million details can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. Your brain never gets a break, leaving you feeling perpetually on edge. This relentless state of vigilance can even result in panic attacks and a pervasive sense of unease. Over time, an ongoing or increasing mental load can increase the risk of developing chronic disease.
Burnout
The relentless pressure can leave you utterly exhausted. Burnout makes even the simplest tasks feel like climbing Mount Everest. When you’re constantly overwhelmed, it’s easy to snap at loved ones or feel dread about your daily tasks.
Strained Relationships
When one person shoulders most of the household responsibilities, resentment can build. This imbalance can strain even the best relationships, leading to conflicts and misunderstandings. It’s tough to keep a happy relationship when one partner is silently drowning in tasks.
So, while it may seem invisible, the mental load is a heavy burden that affects your well-being. Let’s lighten the load together!
How to Manage the Mental Load
Here are some practical tips to lighten your mental load:
Make It Visible
Imagine your mental load as a spotlight waiting to be turned on. Communicate openly with your household about the challenges you face. When others understand what you're managing behind the scenes, they can lend a helping hand and provide much-needed support. After all, you can't lighten the load if no one knows it's there!
Delegate Like a Boss
Sharing is caring, especially when it comes to household tasks. Ever heard the saying “share the load?” Divvy up responsibilities and encourage everyone to contribute. Remember, teamwork truly does make the dream work. By distributing tasks fairly, you not only reduce your burden but also foster a more cooperative and harmonious home life.
Use Tech Wisely
In a world buzzing with apps and tools, finding the right ones can make a world of difference. Choose apps designed to streamline organization and management, but be discerning. Opt for tools that genuinely simplify your life rather than adding to digital clutter. Whether it’s scheduling apps or grocery delivery services, tech should work for you, not against you.
Prioritize and Simplify
Let's face it, you can't do it all. In fact, repeat after us: “I can’t do it all and that’s okay. I’ll be okay.” Focus on what truly matters and let go of the rest. Perfectionism only adds unnecessary pressure. It’s kind of like being stressed about stress (and that’s very heavy). Break down tasks into manageable chunks, tackling one thing at a time with clarity and purpose. Establish daily routines that automate mundane tasks and streamline your day. By simplifying your approach, you'll find greater efficiency and peace of mind.
Take Breaks
Even superheroes need downtime. Schedule regular breaks to recharge and rejuvenate. Whether it's a walk in the park or a quiet moment with a good book, downtime is essential for maintaining mental clarity and overall well-being. Rest doesn’t just help your mental load, it also eases your physical loads and emotional loads too. It’s all related! Self-care isn't selfish—caring for yourself first fills you up so you can properly care for your loved ones in return. Rest and recharge is a vital part of managing your mental load, and your various other loads (even laundry), effectively.
Further reading:
The Political Consequences of the Mental Load by Ana Catalano Weeks
“Women report being mostly responsible for 70 percent of cognitive household labor according to my task-based measure, while men report responsibility for 30 percent. This gender gap of 40 percent is twice as large as the gender gap I find for the estimated share of physical household labor, and it does not vary significantly by income, education, or political party.”
The State of Women by the Skimm
74% of millennial women agreed with the statement, “I am always adjusting my life to accommodate others (e.g., family, co-workers, friends, etc.)” and 79% said “I am concerned with the social expectations around unpaid labor/mental load that women are responsible for.” 76% said, “Women are largely responsible for unpaid labor and mental load at home (e.g., women doing more household labor, taking on scheduling, etc.).”
The hidden load: How 'thinking of everything' holds mums back by Melissa Hogenboom
Experts say that this hidden work comes in three overlapping categories. There’s cognitive labour – which is thinking about all the practical elements of household responsibilities, including organizing playdates, shopping and planning activities. Then there’s emotional labour, which is maintaining the family’s emotions; calming things down if the kids are acting up or worrying about how they are managing at school. Third, the mental load is the intersection of the two: preparing, organizing and anticipating everything, emotional and practical, that needs to get done to make life flow.
The Moral of the Story:
The mental load is a heavy, invisible burden that too often goes unrecognized. But with a sprinkle of humor, a dash of teamwork, and a tech tool or two, we can make it manageable. Embrace the chaos, share the load, and let’s make everyday life a little less overwhelming and a lot more fun.
Here’s to lightening the mental load—one step at a time! Try eeva today to see just how we’re addressing and solving the mental load.
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